Back to Yoga; Let Go & Create!

For those of you who don't yoga, the basic formula of a yoga class is as follows:

1. Centering

Usually in a seated asana, this is the time during which we turn our attention inward and set an intention for our practice.  This intention can be physical, mental, or both, but the time taken to "center" is about leaving our worldly issues at the door and contemplating what we would like to focus on during the time we're in class.  We attune our bodies, minds and spirits so that we are present in our practice.

2. Moving through a series of poses

Next, we do all those "yoga things" you might think about when you envision a yoga class.  Different types of yoga call this different names and are slightly different, but it's the same basic principle.  Most yoga instructors will give some sort of direction on posture (asanas and/or mudras) and breath (pranayama).

3. Final relaxation

Finally, we chill out.  Usually we do this thing called "savasana" or corpse pose, which looks pretty much how it sounds (like the photo below).  At this point in the class, we may have done some pretty intense sweating, played with our posture, flexibility, balance, breath and/or spiritual intentions, and now it is time to do nothing but appreciate the earth holding us up for a while.

Normally, throughout the class, the instructor has some wisdom to impart upon his or her students that goes beyond the physical, although that is super important as well.  There are some pretty standard things every yogi has heard in their yoga practice over the years.  These common themes include noticing your body, lifting your heart, grounding yourself, observing and controlling the breath, clearing the mind, and encouraging positive thoughts and actions.  Lately, I have been focusing on "noticing my body," noticing where it is holding tension, allowing it to rest when it asks me to, pushing it only as far as it can handle, challenging it to balance in new ways, and overall honoring both its abilities and limitations.  However, tonight I took a restorative class.

For you non-yogis, a "restorative class" is one during which we skip "Step 2," and put our bodies into supportive postures, relaxing into poses and letting gravity do the work for us, which seems like cheating, but feels amazing, especially at the end of a long day!  This can be a powerful class for those of us who are distracted or lost in thought, because we have to deal with our minds and either allow them to continue chattering or regain control, consciously slowing them down.  During a normal savasana, or an entire restorative class, yoga instructors typically give some direction to their students to notice what is going on in our brains for a moment and let go of what is bothering us.  This is so important, since many of our aches and tight spots in our body can be directly conjured and controlled with our minds.  Tonight there was some direction to let go, but then, my wonderful instructor and yogini friend invited us to create something with that new space!

As many of you know, last year was full of loss for me.  I had a lot to deal with, and I held on, resistant to the rapid changes in my life.  This year, I intend to sway a bit more, more bending and less breaking, having shed much of what I was holding on to.  If you trim away some of the dead branches and old ideas or Habits (I recently wrote about this one) which no longer serve you, then you make room for new ideas and behaviors.  Tonight, and all day today really, I have been feeling so much potential.  The potential is built to the max in my life.  I don't recommend feeling broken to anyone, but I can honestly say that it is my greatest motivator.  I can only grow stronger in my body, mind, and spirit from here.  I have made space in my life for new people, a new career, a stronger practice, and the creation of some healthy new habits!  As a naturally creative being, the creative potential built up is ridiculously apparent, and I'm excited.

Message of the Day: Let go of the past, and create something beautiful with the present for your future.

...Or don't.  It won't change my reality.  Cheers!

You're Doing It Wrong

Have you ever had a moment of sweet realization?

Has one of those moments ever occurred to you when you realize that you were wrong, and it is a beautiful thing?  Like when you realize that you were SO wrong loading up your burger with ketchup all those years when you could have been using a real tomato slice and a bit of lettuce.

Do you remember a specific instance in which you learned a shortcut?  Perhaps it was a quicker way to work, or maybe a better method of filing and/or organizing.  My favorite “I’ve been doing it wrong” moments often come in the form of masterpieces in the kitchen resulting from some experimentation.

Sometimes you feel like kicking yourself, others you may laugh hysterically.  Today, I felt like hitting an Easy Button!

Occasionally, something is easier than you anticipated. Other times it seems so much simpler than the last time you attempted the task.  It is then when you realize that you were doing it wrong.

Today, I realized that I have been shaving wrong!  Yes, you read that correctly.  I don’t know if it was the razor or the cream, but I cut the amount of time that it took me to shave by nearly two thirds, and I have never had a smoother, closer shave in my life.

The product change was totally worth jumping a few extra dollars at the store.  Here is what I used:

I usually use a foamy shaving cream, and this stuff is more like a cream.  I have shaved using conditioner in a pinch before, and this is somewhere in between a thick cream and a conditioner.  I can't believe that I'm SO excited that I've been doing it wrong for years!

Message of the Day:  Change up your routine every once in a while.  You might adopt the change as a permanent part of your routine as a result.

…Or don’t.  It won’t change my reality.  Cheers!

Sunday Confessional: Taxes & Moving

Nothing like waiting until the last minute!

Here are my confessions of the day:

1.  I haven't done my taxes yet.

2.  I don't have the time or ability to get them done today.

3.  That stresses me out because I could have done them back in February.

Also, I am sending an e-mail to my landlord that this will be my final month of residence in my apartment (EEK!).  I'd actually really like to stay.  I enjoy living on my own.

However, it is time to accept that I will be in a much better place financially if I move back home with my parents for the time being.  I have a heft health insurance bill to tack on to my list of monthly expenses, and my parents have to start repaying some loans, so we could all use a little extra cash.

I've enjoyed the time away from home.  I'm not going to waste a second of the next 30 days of sweet solitude, though!

Confession:  I'm absolutely dreading moving back home.  Every time I discuss it with my parents, it makes so much sense and yet it seems so overwhelming at the same time.  Yesterday, I was at peace with the decision.  Today I am not.  Hopefully I will have more days of peace than conflict, but only time will tell, and it truly is only temporary.

Message of the Day: Pick one, I suppose!  Doing is better than thinking about doing (ie. stop procrastinating).  Also, recognizing when you are resisting something good for you is healthy; overcome and adapt.

...Or don't.  It won't change my reality.  Cheers!

Habits

I am not, by nature, a habitual person.  Sticking to a regimented schedule stresses me out.  I forget to take my vitamins frequently, and out of the 52 weeks in a year, I don't have a single week in my calendar that looks exactly like any other week.

I have, however, picked up some habits over the years, both bad and good.  We all have habits which we are unconscious of, and some we are conscious of.  I challenge you to reflect on those habits which you may not have noticed.

Between getting back into yoga and meditating today, I realized that I need to purge some bad habits and re-introduce some good ones.  I'm calling it my "internal spring cleaning!"

I consciously stopped writing as much because I enjoy writing novellas and, although therapeutic and fun, they can be quite time consuming.  Although I'm still prioritizing my writing to some degree, I've had a very reflective past few weeks during which I realized that I have to move back home to regain some stability.  There are some unconscious habits (mostly eating habits & digital habits) which I need to purge as well.

I am challenging myself to get back into meditating daily.  It puts me into such a clear mindset that when I do make meditation a healthy habit, I cannot imagine how I went through life without it sometimes.  As a child, I used to read before bed and/or when I first woke up in the morning, immersing myself in another world.  Now, I have noticed that the first thing I look at in the morning is my cell phone.  Sure, usually it is innocent enough; I'm usually turning off my alarm.  But soon, it becomes Facebook (which now has completely taken over my phone so that sometimes I'm forced to look at my notifications; not cool, Facebook), or one of my many games (I'm currently addicted to Tetris).  I'd like to regain control of my mornings.  The day begins so much better with the enjoyment of silent contemplation, appreciating the pace at which the morning would like to unfold.

Message of the day:  Notice your habits.  Change those which no longer serve you.
...Or don't.  It won't change my reality.  Cheers!

She's BACK!

Do you know that feeling you get when you feel like you just woke up?

I've been re-inspired and recharged in the past 24 hours!  I feel like I'm seeing an old friend that has been missing for a long time, except that she is a part of me.  I knew she was there, and she would peek out every now and again, but she was waiting for inspiration to strike.

Last night, I went to the first restorative yoga class I have been to in a long time.  Then, I had the most amazing dinner with the most amazing bunch of people you've ever met.  One of them is very pregnant and SO excited that the room was just sparkling with energy!  One of them is leaving for vacation, and we were bidding him farewell.  Another friend drove down just to come see us for 24 hours (a 6 hour round trip journey), and I hadn't really seen my two other friends in months.  They are all hilarious in their own unique ways, and it was such a blessing to get together.  It was an amazing, exciting evening full of laughter and togetherness!

After being reminded how blessed I am to have such a wonderful group of friends, I took some great advice and went to a "gentle flow" yoga class this morning.  "Gentle Flow" is just my pace!  I hadn't felt comfortable in a yoga class until today since at least September.  My body is still recovering, and I met myself where I am instead of being my usual SuperWoman self.  It is amazing how wonderful you can feel by setting aside your ego and allowing yourself to just breathe and notice how your body moves.  Today, I listened to my body (one of my New Year's Resolutions).  I listened as it flowed through the positions I asked it to.

If you have never been to a yoga class before, I highly recommend it (yes, even for men).  Stretching, breathing, and noticing your body heals your body and mind simultaneously, gives you a natural oxygen high, helps to ground you, and lifts your spirits.  Walking out of a yoga class feeling less than wonderful is rare in my experience.  In fact, it often makes you feel like you can conquer the world!

Speaking of which... "She's BACK" is the title of this post because I am feeling completely recharged and it is time to go take on the world!  Namaste!

Message of the Day:  Recharge and inspire yourself through friends, family and a healthy outlet.

...Or don't.  It won't change my reality.  Cheers!

Sunday Confessional: Drafts

True writer's block usually isn't staring at the screen (or paper, pen in hand) and having absolutely nothing to say, it is more often hating everything you wrote.  For a blog about positivity, that's one hundred percent counterproductive!

I have writer's block.

There are about 20 great beginnings, topics, and entirely completed entries in my drafts folder.  Most of them, I'm not satisfied with.  For some, they are not ready yet.  For some, the mood has expired and they no longer feel appropriate.  For others, they seem like they don't belong on a 'positivity' blog.  Still, others are just "blah," and they belong in the trash.

The final reason I haven't posted this week is that most of what I wrote just don't seem okay to post on such a public forum.  I'm not making excuses, but I feel the need to share that I have been struggling with a seemingly fundamental blogging issue for the past two weeks.  Blogging is about sharing, but everything I have to write about lately belongs in my diary, not on the internet.

How do I write about friends, family, dating, financial craziness, work issues, or any other scary topics that I wouldn't tell my mother?  Or my boss?  I feel filtered.  I feel restricted.  It's like writing out a text message to someone you know you shouldn't say "THAT" to and letting it sit in your drafts folder for a week or two.

So, here is some vulnerability:

- I'm feeling financially cornered.
- There are parts about the single life that really get me down.
- My ex, whom I had just started entering a really cool friends again place with, just exited my life via text.
- I don't want to publish my "first date" story with a boy because I told him that I blog and he is a friend.  A friend who might read what I wrote.
- I got back from my work vacation to find out that a distant relative died and there was family in town, but I was too exhausted from traveling to see them.
- My Nonna's birthday was this week.  She died last year.  It was hard.

I have come to terms with all of this, and hopefully I have gotten over my funk.  Here are some of my coping mechanisms:

- I'm taking back control of my financial situation.
- Dating or single, I am who I am, and I refuse to let the possibility of a broken heart bar me from dating.
- Letting go.  I still feel disrespected and dragged around (again), but if he can't be a friend, then he just can't be a friend.  I accept it.
- I'll have a frank conversation with the man I went on that date with, and then maybe one day I will talk about it.  Maybe I won't.  Either would be okay.
- I forgive myself for avoiding death because of exhaustion & my own health.  It's okay.
- Finally, Nonna loves me.  I will tell stories about how amazing she was until the day I die.
Ti amo, Bella!

Message of the Day:  It is okay to keep some things close to the chest, just as it is okay to be vulnerable.

Cheers!

Bad Days

Everyone has their bad days, even Ms. Bubbly McBubbles (I'm referring to myself, in case you didn't get the reference).  My Sunday Confessionals are proof of that.  Today started off as a bad day.

I don't presume to know how your bad days begin, but I can usually feel a bad energy as it sweeps over me.  This feeling of unease makes it difficult to get a decent night's sleep or clear your mind.  Sometimes I wake up with it, other times it creeps up on me throughout the day, and on rare occasions it hits me like a bus!  The only way I can describe the dreadful juu is like a needy friend who brings you down that you just can't seem to get rid of.

Sometimes, when you have one bad day, you also reflect on or channel energy from a previous bad day, making it worse.  I don't have to apologize; she already knows, but I was in a horrible mood when I saw my best friend during her one visit home.  I still feel a little down about it; I wish we had a good day.  We only got to visit for a couple of hours out of the whole year, but I just couldn't fake a smile with her.  For a whole year, I'd been wanting to beam at her, give her the biggest hug in the whole wide world, and tell her how great it was to finally see her, but I couldn't.  That day I had had enough of smiling.  I had had enough talking about how great life is.  I had had enough of being Ms. Positivity.  I just wanted to confide in my best friend about how crummy I was feeling and about how I'm tired of being surrounded by death and relocating and getting sick and injured.  2014 was the year from hell; God and I were NOT getting along despite my "silver lining" talk and Zen attitude about life.  I "knew" I was going to see her again, so it was okay to have a bad day.

But really, it wasn't.  I probably brought her down a bit, and I haven't seen her again since.  I could've chosen to see the silver linings and be happy, but that wasn't who I was in that moment.  I'm sorry.  So, on this bad day, I'm going to learn from my mistakes.  I'm locking myself away in my apartment and getting my Zen on bright and early tomorrow morning before I spread my negativity.  Nobody likes a Debbie Downer, but we're all human.  Negativity infects us sometimes.  I'm eradicating it.  Now.

Sometimes you can't stop it, but if you feel like you're having a bad day, find a way to stop it in its tracks!  Exercise, meditate, walk in the woods, go for a long drive, practice some martial arts - whatever helps you to realign with your highest self.  The world doesn't need any more anger and unrest.

Message of the Day:  Don't be a Debbie Downer.

...Or do.  It won't change my reality.  Cheers!

Sunday Confessional: Fear

This is the third week in a row of my Sunday Confessionals.  Readers, if you enjoy these "Let's get real" moments, let me know in the comments section below.

One day this week, I was feeling like I'm not quite practicing what I preach.  I still have some fears I need to overcome.  Without getting into too much detail, I'm allowing some fears to hold me back.  I'm creating excuses.  I'm deferring responsibility when I shouldn't be.  Partly, it's inactivity that is holding me back, but I understand the limitations of what my body can do right now, and I'm barely poking those limits.  Afraid of re-injury?  Maybe.  Talking myself in circles about what I should or shouldn't do without actually doing it?  Maybe.

Friends, I knew that I needed to get out of my own head.  I knew that I needed to stop pouring effort into things that I don't really care about, or that won't really matter in the long run.  But I was feeling stuck.  Very stuck.  I made a list of things I hoped to accomplish for the day in an effort to provide myself with a more tangible goal to work toward, but I knew that realistically I wouldn't get to half of them.  I was stuck.  

So, I wrote on the walls...

For those of you who didn't read my Writing on the Wall post, don't worry.  I did actually write on the walls (WHAAAAT?), but it wipes off.  I write on the walls of my shower.  I use dry erase markers.

Phew!

It wipes off easily, but it doesn't always work if the shower is wet or steamy.  I have another device for that, but I'll talk about that another time.

After this feeling of stuck-ness decided to linger for over 30 minutes, I wrote inspiring things on the wall.  Specifically, I scribbled 10 reminders I set for myself on 10 different tiles.  To me, it looks like the typical cubicle with a cluttered array of sticky notes everywhere.  I went a little overboard.  But that's okay; they wipe off.  I'll examine a different one every day/every time I shower and I shall erase them when I feel that I no longer require a reminder.

It's time to own the fact that I am a powerful creator, with the potential to do great things!  That's pretty much rule #1: You create your own reality.

The rest of my reminders look a little like this:

Own up to your creation.  Honor yourself.  Listen to yourself.  Love yourself.  Do things you Love.  Let go of people/things/situations that don't support you.  Stand by your beliefs.  Acknowledge your fears, for they ache to be heard; then overcome them.  Accept life's pleasures; you deserve every happiness.  Empower others.

Message of the Day:  We all feel afraid sometimes; it's okay.  Acknowledge your fears and overcome!

...Or don't.  It won't change my reality.  Cheers!