Happy Mother's Day

For Mother's Day, I quite literally wrote my mother a book!  Usually, she buys herself things from us.  She knows what she wants, and when my brother and I were younger, instead of Dad getting her something from the kids, she would just get something she liked.  It was easier that way.  It just never stopped when we were "old enough" to get her something ourselves.

I hate buying her jewelry because she gets herself jewelry & we have completely opposite tastes so it is always a hit or miss.  Sometimes we get our nails done, go out to dinner, or see a show or something.  I wanted to physically give her something, though.  I love writing, so this write-your-mom-a-book idea seemed really cool.

Cool, indeed!  Writing this book was hard work, I tell you!  Some of the pages look like this:

Really?

...there are 40 more, some a little more helpful than the one above, and others just as open-ended.  I had fun doing it, but man did it take me a while!  I'm very glad to have finally given it to Mom because it has been riding along in my car with me (or my purse) so that when inspiration struck, I could frantically write things down in this deceptively small book.

Message of the Day:  Happy Mother's Day!

Question #11

I started off a few months ago with an activity of getting to know [and love] myself better, and also have a little fun, by asking myself a few simple questions.  To find out more about the backstory behind what brought me to this game of 20 Questions (which is actually 36 questions, based on the New York Times article To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This), click on one of these links.  I am not going to post all of my answers (many of these are quite personal in nature), but many are just fun, thought-provolking questions.  Feel free to leave your answers in the comments section!

In doing this activity, I got stuck at Question #11:
Take 4 minutes (or pages in my case) to explain your life story in as much detail as possible.

This is not an easy task to accomplish.  I realized through four small pages what life events I considered noteworthy, and which did not make the cut.  In four pages, it was humbling and slightly disturbing to see so plainly how I view my childhood, and what things I chose to include and exclude from my summary.  I missed some pretty significant life events, and I wasted a few words telling a seemingly meaningless story about a small detail.  I got to thinking how others might answer this question, and how our versions of our childhood story is so indicative of how we view our lives.

I was discussing many things with a dear friend on our Road Trip this week, including our childhood, relationships, places we have visited, language, and general interests.  It is both amusing and quite telling how our personal views of our childhood can shape all of the other aspects of our life.  Whether we struggled or had things easy, were rich or poor, traveled or were sedentary, played sports or an instrument of some sort, we all use our childhood either as an instructional tool for living our lives or as a reminder of why we need to do something different as adults.  As adults, we all figure out which parts of our childhood we would like to retain and recreate, and which ones we would rather shed, forget about, or otherwise alter.

For example, I did not do any traveling until I was in my twenties.  This is something I discovered that I cannot live without as an adult.  It is so important for me to change up my scenery to allow for some distance of my mind and spirit from the attachments I have made.  My friend, let's call her Elsy, is a bit older than I am, but she is figuring out which aspects of her life she would like to retain and which she would like to shed, just like I am.  She is also quite fond of travel, and has done it much more often than I have, but that was part of her childhood she remembers fondly.

I find it intriguing that, as beings, we change our views about life and our habits, but our interests often remain similar in theme.  Sure, we gain and lose interest in some things throughout our lives, but our passions and true personalities often remain the same.  I'm glad to have recognized many of my passions early in life.  I am constantly learning new things about myself, but I have always had a pretty firm grasp of who I am.

This brings me to a central topic of my week/month/year which was epitomized through a Joseph Campbell quote:

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

Many of us get so swept up in life and in making plans for the next day/month/year that we sometimes don't see the things right in front of us which inspire our passions.  A child who is inspired by music would more likely stop to watch a street musician, maybe dancing or singing along with them, while an adult would be more likely to pass by so as to keep to a tight schedule.  This is obviously a highly simplified example of letting go of our plans to enjoy what life has laid in front of us, but it is one of my favorites because I still stop for the street musicians.  I have met a few very cool, talented individuals that way.

Applications on a broader scale include things like having unplanned children and job opportunities.  This reminds me also of another quote along the same lines as the first.  I find them both extremely fitting for this week.  The saying goes like this:

"If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans."

From what I've read, Woody Allen came up with this line, but a similar theme can be found in a Yiddish Proverb, among other places.  This theme of being open to life as it happens seems to be one of those "secrets" shared amongst a club of successful people who have been shouting their secret from the rooftops so that the rest of the world may share in their wealth.  I don't know about you, but I'm excited for the direction my life is going in!  I have been trying to keep some flexible yet ambitious goals in mind, and I can't wait to discover where they lead.

Message of the Day:  Let go of any rigid plans you have for yourself.  Life is messy; embrace your opportunities as they come.

...Or don't.  It won't change my reality.  Cheers!

Online Dating

The internet.  Can't live with it, can't live without it.

For many, we embrace the internet as something we live with, something we sleep with (how many people really turn off their phones before they go to sleep anymore?), and something we truly can't live without.

The internet is a great resource.  However, socially, we might be much happier if we stopped living our lives online.  I write a blog, who am I to talk, right?  I'm not saying that we shouldn't use social media; the internet is a great tool, both for communication with friends and sharing information quickly with the masses.  However, we should live our lives in the real world, and share those experiences online (ie. don't miss out on what is going on around us because we're in the virtual world).

Living in the single world for a while, I have realized that most people are or have been on some sort of dating site.  That is totally bizarre to me, since I get bent out of shape when friends even try to "set me up."  So, I find it totally odd that some people find strangers online and somehow become an item.  Someone's pictures can tell you a little bit about them, but you miss out on a giant piece of them when they can't look at you and you can't look back: their soul!  You miss out on their body language (which is, arguably, 90% of all that we say), you miss out on their smells, and their overall presence.

The last 3 guys I've dated didn't have Facebook accounts.  I thought this was just a coincidence; it doesn't really have much to do with who I look for or why, it just happened that way.  I don't much care for "coincidences," though.  Maybe I should recognize that I tend to choose to date men who live their lives in the real world as opposed to the virtual one.  Conversely, men who are on their phones the entire evening tend to turn me off.  Anyhow, I met all of these men through mutual friends or chance encounters.  I've never had a Tinder/Match/[insert other dating app/site here] account.

You know that feeling you get when a relationship starts feeling "not quite right?"  You begin to think that you're just not the same as you once were.  Maybe your feelings have changed.  Once upon a time, I found out that my last boyfriend was on Tinder.  It was right after we had broken up, but it bothered me more than I let on at the time.  Sometimes people assume that it's "harmless" or that just "checking [the website/app] out" is fine, but it's not.  If you DON'T delete your Tinder/Match/Zoosk/[insert site/app here] when you've started dating someone (or create one while you're in a relationship), it's really not okay.  It has become SO easy to search the internet for millions of other people to interact with, that we have so many other 'options' at our fingertips.  So, the next time you go on an awesome date, take away the temptation.  Delete your accounts.  I dare you.  You can always create them again later if the real world isn't cutting it for you.

If we take the initiative by taking away the extra temptation of shopping around for other potential dates, then we have to actually face our problems (or go about things the old fashioned way by buying a drink at the bar and spilling our feelings to a stranger - in person).

Either way (in the real world or the virtual one), we have 2 options when we have problems in our relationships.  We can talk about it with our partner, or we can ignore that feeling.  People go about each in different ways, but we have made it so easy in this day and age to ignore our problems and distract ourselves or mentally move on without talking about it until it's too late.  If we choose distraction over communication, it usually means doom for the relationship.  Avoiding one another often seems easier than working things out.  Every social media outlet out there has made it so easy to justify that there will always be someone 'better' than whomever you're with, but just remember that the people we are on the internet are not the people we are in real life.  On the internet (and even via text), we have filter after filter after filter.  We can edit the words we say, we don't have to use body language or inflection which reveal that we are tired or scared or happy or sarcastic, we can post/share photos of ourselves after we've 'cleaned up' (ie. I never have to see a photo of what you currently look like if you don't want me to).

Hint: 99% of the above applies to all relationships, not just our romantic ones.

In my "social circle":

- Planning a time to meet/socialize puts you on my list of top favorite people.

- Calling me trumps texting, every time.
- If you Skype me, I'm tickled pink; it takes a bit of effort, but I can actually see you!

- Privately Snapchat/texting me trumps tagging me on Facebook.

- Posting something thoughtful on Facebook is a great way to express yourself, but please ask yourself if it's really meant for every stranger out there on the internet!

- Replying to a photo/caption of mine on Facebook means that you were either bored or you took the time to 'stalk me,' which is an acceptable amount of effort these days (and aligns with the reason I shared it in the first place).  Thanks for noticing.

...and

- Knocking on my door to pop in and say hello will always make my day!

Readers, what would your model of preferred communication look like?

Message of the day: Social Media is great, but I'd much rather you call me and invite me to lunch than share a photo of your balogna sandwich with me!

...Or don't.  (I don't like balogna, either!)  Cheers!

Moving Cost

I'm moving out of my apartment in approximately 22 days...

Still recovering from an injury, I don't want to mess up my shoulder again by lifting heavy boxes.  But I need to move.  My parents already have to rearrange their space, and neither of them can really lift at the moment.  So, I figured that I would hire someone with a big truck to help me.  Well, I found out exactly how expensive that would be.  Once you add up the large furniture from a few "rooms," there is a lot that I need help with.

The cost?  It's pretty much another month's rent.  I'm trying to SAVE money by moving, not spend a ton of extra money.  Still, I was willing to pay the cost of moving to save some cash long term.  That is, until my friends heard about this plan.

I kid you not, within 48 hours of figuring out that I had to shell out some steep moving costs, three friends offered to help me out.  I responded with "I feel bad, because I can't really lift anything heavy," and my friend (we'll call her Elsy) said "That's what friends are for!"  So cliche, I know, but she is totally right!  If Elsy needed help or support, I would totally be there, so why feel bad asking her to help me out?  After that boost of confidence, I felt okay asking my strong young male friends for their help as well, and to my pleasant surprise, they jumped at the notion of helping me move.  I am so grateful to have such wonderful friends!

This is such a relief because I was dreading the whole moving process.  I moved about 5 times last year for a variety of reasons, only once or twice with heavy furniture, but I did most of them by myself.  It was exhausting.  Moving won't be so bad this time around, though.  I have a great group of friends who stepped up and offered to move my large furniture for me for the cost of some good food and cheerful company!  ...AND there are some other folks who are on board with a moving out party on short notice, so I actually get to celebrate this time!

Message of the Day:  Need help?  Ask a friend!

...Or don't.  It won't change my reality.  Cheers!

Habits

I am not, by nature, a habitual person.  Sticking to a regimented schedule stresses me out.  I forget to take my vitamins frequently, and out of the 52 weeks in a year, I don't have a single week in my calendar that looks exactly like any other week.

I have, however, picked up some habits over the years, both bad and good.  We all have habits which we are unconscious of, and some we are conscious of.  I challenge you to reflect on those habits which you may not have noticed.

Between getting back into yoga and meditating today, I realized that I need to purge some bad habits and re-introduce some good ones.  I'm calling it my "internal spring cleaning!"

I consciously stopped writing as much because I enjoy writing novellas and, although therapeutic and fun, they can be quite time consuming.  Although I'm still prioritizing my writing to some degree, I've had a very reflective past few weeks during which I realized that I have to move back home to regain some stability.  There are some unconscious habits (mostly eating habits & digital habits) which I need to purge as well.

I am challenging myself to get back into meditating daily.  It puts me into such a clear mindset that when I do make meditation a healthy habit, I cannot imagine how I went through life without it sometimes.  As a child, I used to read before bed and/or when I first woke up in the morning, immersing myself in another world.  Now, I have noticed that the first thing I look at in the morning is my cell phone.  Sure, usually it is innocent enough; I'm usually turning off my alarm.  But soon, it becomes Facebook (which now has completely taken over my phone so that sometimes I'm forced to look at my notifications; not cool, Facebook), or one of my many games (I'm currently addicted to Tetris).  I'd like to regain control of my mornings.  The day begins so much better with the enjoyment of silent contemplation, appreciating the pace at which the morning would like to unfold.

Message of the day:  Notice your habits.  Change those which no longer serve you.
...Or don't.  It won't change my reality.  Cheers!

She's BACK!

Do you know that feeling you get when you feel like you just woke up?

I've been re-inspired and recharged in the past 24 hours!  I feel like I'm seeing an old friend that has been missing for a long time, except that she is a part of me.  I knew she was there, and she would peek out every now and again, but she was waiting for inspiration to strike.

Last night, I went to the first restorative yoga class I have been to in a long time.  Then, I had the most amazing dinner with the most amazing bunch of people you've ever met.  One of them is very pregnant and SO excited that the room was just sparkling with energy!  One of them is leaving for vacation, and we were bidding him farewell.  Another friend drove down just to come see us for 24 hours (a 6 hour round trip journey), and I hadn't really seen my two other friends in months.  They are all hilarious in their own unique ways, and it was such a blessing to get together.  It was an amazing, exciting evening full of laughter and togetherness!

After being reminded how blessed I am to have such a wonderful group of friends, I took some great advice and went to a "gentle flow" yoga class this morning.  "Gentle Flow" is just my pace!  I hadn't felt comfortable in a yoga class until today since at least September.  My body is still recovering, and I met myself where I am instead of being my usual SuperWoman self.  It is amazing how wonderful you can feel by setting aside your ego and allowing yourself to just breathe and notice how your body moves.  Today, I listened to my body (one of my New Year's Resolutions).  I listened as it flowed through the positions I asked it to.

If you have never been to a yoga class before, I highly recommend it (yes, even for men).  Stretching, breathing, and noticing your body heals your body and mind simultaneously, gives you a natural oxygen high, helps to ground you, and lifts your spirits.  Walking out of a yoga class feeling less than wonderful is rare in my experience.  In fact, it often makes you feel like you can conquer the world!

Speaking of which... "She's BACK" is the title of this post because I am feeling completely recharged and it is time to go take on the world!  Namaste!

Message of the Day:  Recharge and inspire yourself through friends, family and a healthy outlet.

...Or don't.  It won't change my reality.  Cheers!

Bad Days

Everyone has their bad days, even Ms. Bubbly McBubbles (I'm referring to myself, in case you didn't get the reference).  My Sunday Confessionals are proof of that.  Today started off as a bad day.

I don't presume to know how your bad days begin, but I can usually feel a bad energy as it sweeps over me.  This feeling of unease makes it difficult to get a decent night's sleep or clear your mind.  Sometimes I wake up with it, other times it creeps up on me throughout the day, and on rare occasions it hits me like a bus!  The only way I can describe the dreadful juu is like a needy friend who brings you down that you just can't seem to get rid of.

Sometimes, when you have one bad day, you also reflect on or channel energy from a previous bad day, making it worse.  I don't have to apologize; she already knows, but I was in a horrible mood when I saw my best friend during her one visit home.  I still feel a little down about it; I wish we had a good day.  We only got to visit for a couple of hours out of the whole year, but I just couldn't fake a smile with her.  For a whole year, I'd been wanting to beam at her, give her the biggest hug in the whole wide world, and tell her how great it was to finally see her, but I couldn't.  That day I had had enough of smiling.  I had had enough talking about how great life is.  I had had enough of being Ms. Positivity.  I just wanted to confide in my best friend about how crummy I was feeling and about how I'm tired of being surrounded by death and relocating and getting sick and injured.  2014 was the year from hell; God and I were NOT getting along despite my "silver lining" talk and Zen attitude about life.  I "knew" I was going to see her again, so it was okay to have a bad day.

But really, it wasn't.  I probably brought her down a bit, and I haven't seen her again since.  I could've chosen to see the silver linings and be happy, but that wasn't who I was in that moment.  I'm sorry.  So, on this bad day, I'm going to learn from my mistakes.  I'm locking myself away in my apartment and getting my Zen on bright and early tomorrow morning before I spread my negativity.  Nobody likes a Debbie Downer, but we're all human.  Negativity infects us sometimes.  I'm eradicating it.  Now.

Sometimes you can't stop it, but if you feel like you're having a bad day, find a way to stop it in its tracks!  Exercise, meditate, walk in the woods, go for a long drive, practice some martial arts - whatever helps you to realign with your highest self.  The world doesn't need any more anger and unrest.

Message of the Day:  Don't be a Debbie Downer.

...Or do.  It won't change my reality.  Cheers!

Snow in the South

Hello Readers!

So, for the past few days, I have been in North Carolina on business.  I am at a hotel that has spotty internet at best, relatively low water pressure in my shower, and mediocre food.  This trip has been so much fun!  I got here early to see my aunt, which was really cool because I hardly ever get to see her, so it started off on a great note.  I have a HUGE bed compared to my twin mattress at home, and two chairs to hang out in.  Here is a photo:

...whoops!  Experiencing technical difficulties (probably because the internet kicks me off constantly at this hotel).  I'll update these photos when I get back to civilization.

We've been in meetings all day, and then we go out in the evenings with our coworkers.  My coworkers are hilarious people who have worked aboard commercial vessels, as teachers, as field interviewers, and a bunch of other tough professions.  They have the most hilarious stories to share!  We geek out about fish biology, had an intense conversation about invasive species.  It's funny because information sharing whilst intoxicated can be a hilarious experience.  Every one of us was getting very passionate about a different species of invaders, and a topic near and dear to our hearts.  Not to bore you, but just to give you a rough idea of what we were talking about, zebra mussels and carp invading the Great Lakes, road building and logging in the Amazon altering the biota miles away, locals dying on Mount Everest because they are financially coerced into assisting foreign travelers, and the list goes on in a similar fashion.

This morning, I woke up to this:

We knew last night that there might be snow on the ground when we woke up, but 6 inches or whatever we just got is a LOT of snow here in the South.  The locals are freaking out a bit, apocalypse style!  All of us Northerners joke around about the silly white dusting they got and were expecting more of, but the locals are scared to drive (rightfully so, if you watch the news), and the entire state may be shut down.  They barely have plows down here in North Carolina.  I have a flight back home tonight.  We might all be stuck here!  The good news?  Work will reimburse us for some of our time.  The bad news?  I have to work up North tomorrow, and my other job is not going to be pleased.  Let's hope that the planes aren't too delayed, and we can all get out of here.  We've been hearing horror stories about ice and snow.  Here I thought that I was going to North Carolina, a place where it would be warm and I would finally get a much needed break from the snow, and it followed me down here!  Oh well, at least I don't have to shovel (do they even have those down here?).

Hopefully I fly home tonight.  Cross your fingers/say a prayer!

...Or don't.  It *might* not change my reality.  Cheers!

Impact

Way back in 2014, I was having brunch with a man of the cloth.  Usually quite excitable, positive, and inspiring, he seemed quite the opposite of his usual self that day.  He admitted to me that he was absolutely drained of all his energy.   Even preachers get a little down on life sometimes.

When I asked him why he seemed so bummed, he confided that he was struggling with something quite human in nature.  You see, as a man of God, he is always giving of himself and trying to help other people.  That day, however, he questioned how much he actually helps because he doesn't often see the end results of his work.  As humans, it is natural to want to see causes and effects.  When someone comes to a therapist, a preacher, or even a friend because he or she is in a bad place, they may not express or even realize the effect that person had on them.  If someone helps you out, it never hurts to say "thank you."

Has someone helped you out recently?

My Mom has a few stories of 'random acts of kindness' in which people didn't know how big of an impact they've had on her life, and she shared a funny one that morning that seemed to cheer up our friend.

Back in the 90s, my family got stuck on the highway far from home on a hot, sunny afternoon.  I believe the alternator went, and my dad strained to push the gas petal to the floor just to coast over to the breakdown lane!  Two small kids in the car, we were stuck with at least a mile in either direction to safety from the crowded highway.  Not up on the times yet, we had no way to call for help.  This was the early 90s; cell phones had just become popular.  Long story short, a man pulled over on the side of the road in front of us to eat a mango.  Mom thought, "He must have a cell phone!"  After turning down the slice of mango he had offered her with his switchblade, Mom asked the man if he had a mobile phone.  He did.   Good thing, too.  It turns out that we were just in time to call for a tow truck and a rental car before they closed the shop for the day!  That man who pulled over on the side of the road for a mango saved the day, and he didn't really stick around after he served his purpose.

Those chance encounters with people that you may never see again still happen in this day and age.  The truth is that we impact others every day, in small ways and in big ones.  So, be a positive influence in someone's life today.  You never know whose day you may brighten, or whose life you may change!

Message of the day: Say "thank you" when you can, and aim to be a positive influence in this world.

...Or don't.  It won't change my reality.  Cheers!

Vectors of Disease

We are all vectors of disease in the winter.  I am officially convinced.  I recently got over a stomach bug.  My last two or three posts happened automatically because I was asleep.  Recovering.

I took a trip in an ambulance.  I don't know what came over me, but I got sick.  Lost my lunch about 6 or 7 times.  Apparently it's not abnormal to faint after losing a lot of fluid in a short amount of time due to loss of blood pressure, and that's what happened to me.  I was seconds from fainting (good thing I didn't actually happen while I was alone in my apartment).  I'll post more about this in my Sunday Confessional tomorrow, but I want to be positive about it first.

From this crazy adventure, I learned 3 things:

I have an awesome support system!  My family doesn't hate me even though I got them sick.  My parents drove over an hour to take me home from the hospital.  Also, I have some concerned neighbors who are good in a crisis, and friends who chatted with me while I was feeling bleh.

PMS is real.  I was in such a crummy mood that I was crying over nothing.  Like, "I'm going to have to buckle you into the stretcher."  True confession.  Sometimes it is hilarious

My stomach deserves only healthy food.  For the rest of my life!

Message of the Day:  We all get sick sometimes.  Take the time you need to recover.  Your body will thank you for it.

...Or don't.  It won't change my reality.  Cheers!

Secrets!

Have you ever gotten the feeling someone was about to tell you a secret?

Whether in person or via text, you can usually tell when someone is about to divulge a big secret.  They get abnormally uncomfortable or excited.  They act in a way that is out of sorts from their usual self.  Unless they are very good at hiding their feelings, it isn't difficult to tell when someone is about to tell you something that isn't public information.

Well, today I just got bombarded with a big one out of nowhere!

A friend texted me asking me how I was doing.  It was an out of the blue text, but that's 100% normal for her.  She is the whimsical type.  I responded that I am just trying to stay warm, and asked her how she was doing.

Do you know how she replied?

I couldn't make this up if I tried, so I will just quote her here...

"I'm okay, I don't work much for the next 2 months.  Doctor recommended that I stay home and rest.  Pregnant."

Ah!  Pregnant?  Crazy.  Via text message!  I see her all the time, too.  I don't know how long she has known.  I have a feeling she has known for a while now.  I don't know who knows.  But she is pregnant, and very excited about it.

I can honestly say that I don't think anyone has directly told me that they are pregnant before.  She is the first of my girlfriends (or guy friends) to confide that in me.  Usually I find out these things through the grape vine.  It's exciting.  I'm excited.  She is excited.  She will be a great Mom.  I hope you're smiling, because I am!

Message of the Day:  Share your happiness with others.  You will brighten their day, too.

...Or don't.  It won't change my reality.  Cheers!

Talking Photography

Pretty much everyone I know enjoys a good picture, although we all define what that is differently.  I have a friend who only uses mostly old cameras.  He still sends his film out to be developed.  There is just something about a tangible photo, developed in a lab; it has almost become romantic or nostalgic.  His hardcore film views have actually rubbed off on my vocabulary.  I now use the terminology "making a photo" rather than "taking a photo," after a long (totally fun) debate about it.  Anyhow, a while ago, we were talking about how anyone can "make a photo" now, without having ever owned a camera.

As such, a growing number of people are into photography.  The world of photography is changing rapidly in the 21st century, with the dawn of the digital "point-and-shoot" camera and now cell phone cameras capable of making more than decent photographs.  Anyone with a cell phone can now make a photograph, and play around with different settings (granted, artificially created settings that don't involve knowing much about lenses, lighting, etc., but they can figure out the basics).

I own a digital camera, which I still use on occasion, but it is way easier to use my cell phone to make a photograph in my daily life.  I have less to carry around, and, frankly, the camera my Samsung Galaxy S5 is equipped with is almost as good as my point-and-shoot.  When there is nothing to do at my job (basically, while I am waiting for people to interview), I play with my photography settings on the camera.  There are action features, and some focus settings I really like that are pretty novel for a cell phone camera.

These are a few of my favorite shots that came out of playing with the focus settings:

Simply adjusting my overall focus OR my object of focus, I was able to take many different shots.  With these two photographs of petals, I created the illusion of blurred objects in the foreground by focusing further out, which is relatively simple with a point-and-shoot, but I also was able to enhance the petal in the foreground in the first shot, which is more difficult to accomplish with a normal cell phone camera.

The final "current top favorite" photograph of selective focus is this one I shot at the local bar:

I was talking photography with a stranger I had just met.  This guy just walked up to me as I was reading (yes, I was reading at the bar) and he struck up a conversation with me (yes, guys it really is attractive to interrupt someone's alone time as long as it is done in a tactful way).  He was confident and had a nice smile, so I figured that I would put my book down for a conversation (quite the feat, as it was a very good read).  I'm glad I did, though, because not only was he quite interesting to talk to, this awesome photo above came out of it (and later a painting).  Somehow, he got to talking to me about photography, and I began showing him the cool features on my cell phone that I had discovered just weeks prior.

I bring up the random guy I met at the bar because, since then, we've crossed paths there a few times, and somehow great things always come of it.  I don't particularly care for the things kids do with their photos (the hot colored scribbled and phrases that cover most of the decent shot they took, etc.), however I was always curious about the tools they use to make such "art."  Well, I discovered this app a few weeks ago that allows me to alter photos after I have taken them.  Usually, I don't like doing that because, call me old-school, but I think it takes something away from the art involved in photography.  After playing with a simple photo I made of some candles in my bathroom (at the bar with my now photography friend), this really awesome version we churned out got me to re-think the possibilities of editing.

We turned this photo:

Into this image:

I'm still not sure whether or not I can call the second image here a "photograph," but I like it!

Message of the Day:  Open yourself up to explore new things; you might find them beautiful. Also, collaboration with friends often yields the best results!

...Or don't.  It won't change my reality.  Cheers! 

Ahhh, Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is a romantic holiday.  People give gifts of chocolate and flowers.  People kiss in public.  Love is in the air!  Some people have mixed feelings about Valentine's Day, though.

Me?  The Queen of Positivity?  You want to know MY feelings about the "Spread Love" holiday?

Let's just say I'm not a fan of commercializing Love.


Not what you were expecting?  Allow me to share my story with you, and you shall understand.  In retrospect, I find the humor in these moments, and I am feeling vulnerable enough to share them with you.

I have a history of breaking up with people on Valentine's Day.

As it turns out, I broke up with a man who was going to propose to me on Valentine's Day once.  I found out six months later that he had custom designed a ring (from the sounds of it, the most beautiful, wonderful, thoughtful, magical ring I could have ever imagined, tailored specifically to my personality and desires).  They say that you "just know" if it's right or not.  We both got to that revelation at the same time, I guess, but took opposite paths.  Whoops!

The next year, I broke up with my then boyfriend just after the Superbowl.  We both felt abnormally crummy about the emotionless breakup (he was basically my best friend and the breakup itself just seemed so... blah), so we tried to take it back.  That obviously didn't work.  We parted as friends, deciding that it really was best after all, both single just in time for Valentine's Day.

Two years later, I was dating a fellow who had just moved from 400 miles away to about 80 miles away (it was a great long-distance relationship), and I drove up to see him two weekends in a row.  We really weren't getting along during our friends' Superbowl party, and worse so when we were alone, to the point where it became apparent that we weren't the right fit for one another.  So, unable to shake my belief that romantic relationships should both begin and end in person, I made a special trip (Valentine's Day weekend) solely to break up with him.

Oh, this story isn't over yet, though.  It gets better!

The breakup itself lasted only about 3-5 minutes, 3-5 minutes after I walked in the door!  He was trying to rush me to dinner; I was trying to make sure that we broke up before we went anywhere and dragged things out.  We decided to go out for dinner anyway because we were both starving and it just made sense.  Who doesn't go out to dinner after a breakup?  We had a great time at the bar watching hockey over beer & wings, laughing at our friends' reactions to our breakup (we were just cool like that).

When we made the decision to grab dinner, we both knew that it would probably be too late and snowy for me to drive home, but that was okay.  Then, I got snowed in.  For two days.  Yup, two days of shoveling ours and the neighbor's cars out, playing computer games, and sharing meals with my oh-so-very-recently EX-boyfriend!  We ended up braving the storm around dinner time to visit our friends down the street so that we could avoid some very awkward evening hours home alone in a rather small apartment.  Our friends didn't even realized that we had broken up a day prior until well into the evening, talk about awkward moments!

Once the state-wide driving ban was lifted the next morning, I braved the unplowed highway.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Unplowed highway.  Apparently the driving ban banned cleanup crews as well because there was fresh powder, akin to what you might encounter on a ski slope, on the only road to take from my ex's apartment to my job.  It was either drive to work or go back to my ex's.  I don't think we could have handled another day of the, albeit peaceful, awkward vibe, and I have an odd sense of obligation about going to work.  Against my better judgment, I drove 80 miles alongside, plows, front-loaders (which were hired to clear the sheer volume of snow off the road), and a few idiots who thought that passing me in an unplowed, uneven lane with a one ton vehicle going 40+ mph was a good idea.  Luckily there weren't many of those, since they would have had considerably more maneuverability with snowmobiles.  As if my weekend wasn't obscure enough, I gathered too much speed on a long stretch downhill, lost any and all breaking ability, fishtailed and spun out traveling less than 25 mph into the snowbank atop the passing lane!  Luckily, I carry a shovel in my trunk.  You may laugh, but it has come in handy on more than one occasion!  I was able to get myself out of that predicament in under 5 minutes, once the 3 or 4 passing cars realized that I had everything under control and just needed space for a K-turn.  Complete panic had turned to a calm sense of accomplishment and determination!

After all that said, I feel the need to express that I don't believe that the past is an indicator of the future.  It is a series of lessons to learn from, but I can't help but feel slightly at-odds with this romantic holiday.  Thus, on the last of these crazy Valentine's Days, a tradition of getting together for a singles' date night with my best friend began.

We usually go out for dinner on a friend-date (if the weather holds up)!  I think those are the best kind.  No romantic pressure.  For a new romantic relationship, Valentine's Day often puts too much pressure.  For an established one, maybe it creates a good excuse to do something wonderful for someone else or maybe it causes added stress.  I'm not a fan of stress.  Or pressure, unless it is the exciting anticipation kind.  This Valentine's Day, my best friend happens to be in another country, and my next-best friends are either men who I wouldn't like to get the wrong idea by asking to hang out on Valentine's Day and/or romantic types with dates.  So, I have plans with my Aunt.

I've actually had these plans on my calendar for the past 2 months.  Valentine's Day is sad day for her, so she needs a date more than any of my friends or potential lovers do.  I never did get asked, but I made it known to any potential suitors that I was already busy!  Having prior plans works out perfectly because I'm simply not a fan of going on a date just to have a "Valentine," anyway.  The precedent is all wrong.  So, my Valentine's Day plans are to spend the day with my Aunt.  No pressure required!

If you knew her, you would laugh at the irony behind this statement.  I was required to call her on Thursday with a proposed itinerary!  In this case, that's a good thing; if you're going out, planning ahead is absolutely necessary on this crazy day of Love!

Tears.  Laughter.  Good food.  Great friends.  Family.  Funny stories.

That's my idea of the perfect Valentine's Day.

Message of the Day:  Laugh.  Laugh at my crazy Valentines and your own.  You won't always have a date.  It doesn't have to be the most romantic day of your life.  Just show some Love to those you care about, and enjoy the day!

...Or don't.  It won't change my reality.  Cheers!

Rocking Yourself

Do you ever rock yourself?

I just found myself swaying back and forth, as if I was soothing a baby without the accompanying arm posture.  I realize that I have a bunch of unique habits and quirks, but I think there is something universal about this one.  As babies, we are often rocked and cradled.  As adults, many of us dance to sooth ourselves or let go of some excess energy.  Maybe we are actually creating energy, enlivening ourselves, but in a relatively calm way through the action of swaying.

As part of my "day off" morning ritual (work days are a completely different breed), I dance.  I sway. I jump.  I giggle.  I write.  I bounce.  I leave half-eaten breakfast somewhere as I attempt to get my stretch on.  On calm, peaceful mornings, I put on a pot of tea and gaze out the window.  I rock myself whilst sipping in the contents of my warm cup.

Sometimes I fold my arms across my chest and hug myself.  Sometimes my arms are dancing to a rhythm of their own.  Still other times, they are delicately poised with an invisible baton, ready to coax the melodic sounds in my head into existence through willpower alone.

On this still morning, my body moved with conscious awareness.  My body was moved out of emotion and passion; my brain had little to do with controlling its movement.  My muscles didn't need to be told what to do.  What I mean by "conscious awareness" is merely observing.  Rather than interrupt their graceful strides and stretches, I watched myself, in a way.  This awareness brought about a nostalgic thought.  My body remembers something my mind does not.

It remembers this ancient dance.  It remembers my mother's soothing touch.  Sometimes, we feel something inexplicable when we hold a baby.  Something timeless.  If we observe our own reactions to children, we often realize that we rock back and forth.  It is truly an ancient dance.  I often notice when I behave differently around babies, but I also do it on occasion by myself.

When you long for the touch of a lover, and create a space full of similar loving energy surrounding you, notice how you behave differently.  When you reminisce about the early days of your child's life, notice how your heart beats differently.  When you meet yourself where you are in still silence, and feel the urge to sway, thank your parents for sharing an ancient secret with you.  Thank them for rocking you as a child, because it enabled you to soothe yourself as an adult.  Even when you are all alone, you may smile at yourself or have the urge to dance or move differently.  This morning, I danced in the dim light of the winter sun, and it warmed my heart.

Message of the Day:  Rock yourself.  Sway with your lover.  Pass on this timeless secret of serenity to your children.

...Or don't.  It won't change my reality.  Cheers!

Chinese Fire Drill

There is a saying that "it's the little things in life that make you happy."  A few days ago, I had a day particularly full of wonderful little things.  I'll share my favorite 3:

1. Waking up to sunlight.  Refer to Controlling the Sun.  Seriously, nothing beats it!

2. Chinese Fire Drill!  (I don't know how politically correct this is... I have just learned this terminology through friends & have no idea where it comes from)

3. Sugar :)

I hadn't actually witnessed a 'Chinese Fire Drill' before a few days ago.  It was HILARIOUS!  Maybe you had to be there, but I'll try my best to set the tone...

My coworker (Let's call her D) was driving the company car with me in the passenger's seat.  We had just begun our journey when we came to a stop behind two other cars at a red light.  Seconds after we stopped, we saw the doors on the car in front of us open simultaneously.  The driver and the passenger each turned about for a second.  D and I looked at each other instantaneously and gasped, "No..." in disbelief.  The driver and passenger both got out of the car in complete synchrony, leaving their doors open, strolled around the back of the car, and got back in via the opposite door.  D and I looked at each other once more, shouted, "Chinese fire drill!" and laughed.  That made my day.

After a less eventful excursion back to work, I entered the office and found this:

...and "Happy people just don't shoot their husbands!" (Name that movie.  It makes me laugh every time.)

Well, it's settled.  Can't argue with nerd logic!

Message of the day: When all else fails, eat more sugar.

...Or... don't.  Really.  If you sustain health problems from consuming too much sugar, please don't say I condoned it.  Cheers!

Haircut!

I’ve heard people speak about a haricut with everything from disdain to elation.  Many use the words “chore,” or even “dread” to describe shelling out money to have someone shave or chop off some of their hair that just won’t stop growing back.

If you couldn’t already guess, I’m in the category of those who view a haircut as a special day.  It’s an opportunity to change my look or just make my hair less apt to get tangled.  Usually, I walk in for a haircut and walk out just hoping for something just that: less tangle-y, a little more layered, and in general more manageable.

Yesterday, I had a different mission: a whole new identity!

For most people, I don’t suggest that spending a ton of money is your key to happiness (actually, it often can be the opposite).  In the case of my hair, however, well, let’s just say I have more hair on my head than 99.9% of the rest of the world does (and every hair salon I have ever been to comments on this, ad nauseum).  If I want a really nice cut, I had better go to someone who is well trained.

Yesterday morning, I showered, washed & combed my hair thoroughly, as per usual prior to a haircut.  Those of you who have a lot of curly hair know exactly what I’m talking about.  Those of you with straight hair, I’m sorry that sometimes you’re jealous of us curly-haired folks with infinite style options, just as we are jealous of you for the “I can just brush in 2 strokes and go” thing I will never comprehend, but trust me when I tell you that the time we put into our hair is 100% necessary!  Yes, it is vital to tame your hair BEFORE going to the salon.

Once my hour-long pre-haircut ritual was over, I took the last photo of myself with long hair that I will have for a long time.  I’ve spent my life trimming off a few inches at a time, allowing my slow-growing hair to do its wild, crazy thing, and yesterday was the last day of that wild, crazy mane:

I took 2 versions of this shot; one “wild & crazy” as I can get my hair, and another more “normal” look:

Now, when I go to the salon, it always turns into a spectacle.  I have a TON of hair.  When you look at it, you say, “Wow, that girl has a huge mane,” but when you hold it, you realize how big and heavy it actually is.  Every new stylist I visit tells their coworkers to touch my hair.  Every one.  Whoever is sweeping the floor up from all the hair has to make at least 2 or 3 passes, and never fails to comment on the sheer volume of hair on the floor, asking if __insert name here__ can have some (I have plenty to lend out for a lifetime).  Also, even though I schedule an appointment and suggest that the salon gives me a few extra minutes, another client shows up before I’m done.  Every time.  If I need to get my hair styled, especially straightened, usually 2 or 3 other stylists who were on break come over to assist.  Admittedly, I don’t cut my hair as often as I should, and after high school I didn’t visit the same salon more than twice because I was trying to find the right stylist, so maybe they would get used to me eventually if I came in often enough.

Yesterday's experience was on par with my usual experience, except for one thing: me!  I was nervous, excited, doubtful, about to chicken out and yet so determined I could've led soldiers into battle!  I walked into the salon and kept looking in the mirror, sliding my fingers up and down the imaginary ruler, debating “how short is too short?”  I was ranging from 5-9 inches.  That’s a wide range!  I had clearly never done anything like this before!  But, I trust my stylist (such a beautiful relationship to have)!  I explained that my hair was just too heavy and causing me issues.  It’s time for a change!

Stylist:   “Are you sure?”

Me:   “Yes, I’m sure.”

Stylist:   “Shoulder length?  Like… 7 inches?”

Me:   “Yup.  Shoulder length, and as light as you can possibly make it!”

2 minutes later…

Person sweeping up the massive amount of hair already accumulating on the floor

(addressing Stylist):  “Wow, you’re brave!”

Stylist (referring to me):  “She’s the brave one!  I have NO idea how this is going to turn out; it could just spring up like a poof!”

Me:  [slightly nervous] “Wait, how will I get it to be tame at all?!?  I’m in completely uncharted waters!”

Stylist:  “Gel.  Lots and lots of gel!”

Person sweeping (addressing me):  [Laughing] “Wait, did YOU have to convince HER to take that much off?”

Me:  [Also laughing] “Yup!”

She called me brave and took her own before (and later after) pictures for the salon.

[stylist intently finishing up the initial cutting]

Me:  “How do you think we should shape it?  Should I swoop it like this, or maybe do this…?”

Stylist:  “I’m still just cutting all this hair off; I haven’t even thought that far ahead yet.”

Me:  “Okay.  I just got excited!  Take off as much as you possibly can!”

An hour of cutting Ouidad style (amazing for curly hair), and using some thinning shears to make my hair as light as humanly possible,  I had cute, fun, SHORT hair!  After taming it (adding some leave-in conditioner, climate control, diffusing, leaving me under the dryer, more diffusing, and a few quirts of pomade – I was taking notes) my hair was done!

Me:   “Ahhhhh!”

Stylist:  “Do you like it?  Does it feel lighter?”

Me:  “It’s SO LIGHT!  I feel like there is nothing there!  There clearly is but it feels like… NOTHING!”

Stylist:  [Laughter] “I think this is going on our Facebook page as The Transformation of 2015!”

Me:   “Less sexy, more fun!”

After the mini photo shoot, my stylist and I parted ways as she tended to her other client, both of us smiling and cheerful!

Here are my personal “after” shots:

…this is my “normal” shot (but I was still waaaay too excited to look anything close to “normal”).

…& the following is as “wild and crazy” as I could get my new hair!

It truly feels like there is nothing left!  This is pretty much how most people live, I guess, but I feel 10 pounds lighter!  I couldn’t (and still can’t, apparently) stop telling all of my friends how amazingly light and bouncy and DIFFERENT I feel now!

My hair is a huge part of my identity.  Not only because it is huge, but because it is a major part of how I have defined myself, and how others have defined me, since I was a child.  Those childhood images of how you view yourself tend to stick with you, and I just changed them!  To top that off, I’ve been contemplating a whole makeover.  I actually stopped by my optometrist’s office on my way home to try on a new pair of glasses.  Look out world, it's a whole new me!

Apologies if I sound narcissistic in any way (and if my bounciness is too much for you to handle at the moment).  I’m truly not a narcissist, but I do love myself - we all should - and yesterday I had the biggest “me day” that I’ve possibly ever had.  I am pretty certain that I have ADD, to what extent I don't really know or care to know, but it comes out every now and again.  Every time my hair grazes my shoulders (which is pretty much any time I move my head), I get distracted by this brand new feeling!  Do you ever get distracted by your earrings?  Or your scarf?  It's akin to that.  I love it, but I’m still getting used to it!  If you know me in real life, please bear with me as I go through this transition.  And LAUGH.  Laugh at me, and laugh with me!

Message of the Day:  Looking for a new identity or a new look?  Change your hairstyle!

…Or don’t.  It won’t change my reality.  Cheers!