Happy Mother's Day

For Mother's Day, I quite literally wrote my mother a book!  Usually, she buys herself things from us.  She knows what she wants, and when my brother and I were younger, instead of Dad getting her something from the kids, she would just get something she liked.  It was easier that way.  It just never stopped when we were "old enough" to get her something ourselves.

I hate buying her jewelry because she gets herself jewelry & we have completely opposite tastes so it is always a hit or miss.  Sometimes we get our nails done, go out to dinner, or see a show or something.  I wanted to physically give her something, though.  I love writing, so this write-your-mom-a-book idea seemed really cool.

Cool, indeed!  Writing this book was hard work, I tell you!  Some of the pages look like this:

Really?

...there are 40 more, some a little more helpful than the one above, and others just as open-ended.  I had fun doing it, but man did it take me a while!  I'm very glad to have finally given it to Mom because it has been riding along in my car with me (or my purse) so that when inspiration struck, I could frantically write things down in this deceptively small book.

Message of the Day:  Happy Mother's Day!

Question #11

I started off a few months ago with an activity of getting to know [and love] myself better, and also have a little fun, by asking myself a few simple questions.  To find out more about the backstory behind what brought me to this game of 20 Questions (which is actually 36 questions, based on the New York Times article To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This), click on one of these links.  I am not going to post all of my answers (many of these are quite personal in nature), but many are just fun, thought-provolking questions.  Feel free to leave your answers in the comments section!

In doing this activity, I got stuck at Question #11:
Take 4 minutes (or pages in my case) to explain your life story in as much detail as possible.

This is not an easy task to accomplish.  I realized through four small pages what life events I considered noteworthy, and which did not make the cut.  In four pages, it was humbling and slightly disturbing to see so plainly how I view my childhood, and what things I chose to include and exclude from my summary.  I missed some pretty significant life events, and I wasted a few words telling a seemingly meaningless story about a small detail.  I got to thinking how others might answer this question, and how our versions of our childhood story is so indicative of how we view our lives.

I was discussing many things with a dear friend on our Road Trip this week, including our childhood, relationships, places we have visited, language, and general interests.  It is both amusing and quite telling how our personal views of our childhood can shape all of the other aspects of our life.  Whether we struggled or had things easy, were rich or poor, traveled or were sedentary, played sports or an instrument of some sort, we all use our childhood either as an instructional tool for living our lives or as a reminder of why we need to do something different as adults.  As adults, we all figure out which parts of our childhood we would like to retain and recreate, and which ones we would rather shed, forget about, or otherwise alter.

For example, I did not do any traveling until I was in my twenties.  This is something I discovered that I cannot live without as an adult.  It is so important for me to change up my scenery to allow for some distance of my mind and spirit from the attachments I have made.  My friend, let's call her Elsy, is a bit older than I am, but she is figuring out which aspects of her life she would like to retain and which she would like to shed, just like I am.  She is also quite fond of travel, and has done it much more often than I have, but that was part of her childhood she remembers fondly.

I find it intriguing that, as beings, we change our views about life and our habits, but our interests often remain similar in theme.  Sure, we gain and lose interest in some things throughout our lives, but our passions and true personalities often remain the same.  I'm glad to have recognized many of my passions early in life.  I am constantly learning new things about myself, but I have always had a pretty firm grasp of who I am.

This brings me to a central topic of my week/month/year which was epitomized through a Joseph Campbell quote:

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

Many of us get so swept up in life and in making plans for the next day/month/year that we sometimes don't see the things right in front of us which inspire our passions.  A child who is inspired by music would more likely stop to watch a street musician, maybe dancing or singing along with them, while an adult would be more likely to pass by so as to keep to a tight schedule.  This is obviously a highly simplified example of letting go of our plans to enjoy what life has laid in front of us, but it is one of my favorites because I still stop for the street musicians.  I have met a few very cool, talented individuals that way.

Applications on a broader scale include things like having unplanned children and job opportunities.  This reminds me also of another quote along the same lines as the first.  I find them both extremely fitting for this week.  The saying goes like this:

"If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans."

From what I've read, Woody Allen came up with this line, but a similar theme can be found in a Yiddish Proverb, among other places.  This theme of being open to life as it happens seems to be one of those "secrets" shared amongst a club of successful people who have been shouting their secret from the rooftops so that the rest of the world may share in their wealth.  I don't know about you, but I'm excited for the direction my life is going in!  I have been trying to keep some flexible yet ambitious goals in mind, and I can't wait to discover where they lead.

Message of the Day:  Let go of any rigid plans you have for yourself.  Life is messy; embrace your opportunities as they come.

...Or don't.  It won't change my reality.  Cheers!

Question #13: If I Had a Crystal Ball...

Some of the questions in the series of posts under the headline 20 Questions (which is actually 36 questions, based on the New York Times article To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This), are time-old questions most people have been asked at least once in their life.  For those of you who don't know, I'm doing this "20 Questions" activity with myself just for the fun of it, to get to know myself a little better.  Today's question was the first of "Set II" (out of III).

Question # 13: If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, your future, or anything else, what would you want to know?

Before you read my answer, think about the question for a second (or don't, but I think it would be fun).  How would you answer?  What would you want to know if you looked into a crystal ball?  Is there an unanswered question in your life that you just can't seem to answer?  What are you curious about?

Are you ready to hear my answer?

I don't want to know.

Unless the crystal ball could tell me the lottery numbers I choose on a specific date to win the jackpot, I don't want to know a single thing about my future, my past, or my current situation that I don't already know.  Here is why: curiosity.  Assuming this crystal ball is limited to my personal life and my personal capacity to comprehend what it tells me, and I can't solve the energy crisis or cure cancer by gazing into it, I don't want to have extra knowledge about my life unless it is in the form of a means to get "there."  I would rather maintain my innocent, curious mind.  If I already "know" what is going to happen, who says that it will still happen?  Or that I will take the same path to get there (presumably marvelously complex, maybe full of bumps that strengthen me as a person)?  I might eventually feel as though I took the easy road, and thereby alter my own personality and ownership of my accomplishments.

Many people would want to know how they die, or when.  One of my favorite songs is actually a song by Thriving Ivory called "Angels on the Moon," and the chorus begins with the lyrics "Don't tell me if I'm dying."  Here, take a listen:

Basically, you should live in the moment regardless of what life holds outside of the here and now.  Don't dwell on who walks in and out of your life, or when your own life will end.  If it is inevitable, why create stress trying to live forever if all you're doing is trying to survive?  My time is much more useful actually lived.  Plus, if you believe that the future is finite, which I will suppose we do for the purpose of this scenario, the knowledge of how I die allows me to recognize when it is happening.  However, if I'm focused on my own survival in the moment of my supposed death, I might change that situation.  The curiosity about "how it happens" is gone, which can have a whole host of emotional effects on a person, ranging from suicidal to invincible (neither of which is good in my book).  You may not accept the way your death "will happen," so you make sure that it happens prior to your supposed time to take back control.  Conversely, it can turn a cautious person into a risk taker if they know that their time won't expire for a very long time, giving them drive to accomplish their goals, or making them reckless.  Every person is different and there is no way to predict how someone (probably even yourself) would act with that kind of knowledge.

Furthermore, I have also now just created a paradox in which I may not die that way because I have seen it and therefore have insight I wouldn't otherwise have.  Maybe I die saving someone else's life.  Would I have the courage to be brave despite the knowledge that doing so would mean my own demise, or would I hesitate just long enough to save my own life, maybe causing another and "changing things?"  I believe that the future is more of a web of infinite possibilities and just because I am more likely to choose the path of putting my life on the line for another means I probably die doing ____, doesn't mean that it will happen if I factor in my own death.

If you knew who you will marry, where you retire, when your child is born, how well you do in your career, etc. before the timing is right, would it really matter?  Would it change how you do things now in a good way?  Would it ruin the journey?

The answer is always complex and will never capture all the variables.  You could never account for all the accidents or chances in life, and you might drive yourself mad trying to figure it out.  Your journey is what you make of it, and the reality is that all that currently exists in life is this moment.  Plans change, situations are born and they expire.  We make the best personal choices we can in every moment.  As long as we know ourselves enough to guide our lives by the direction of our own moral compass, life will turn out all right.

Message of the Day:  Don't play the "what if" game with the big things in life.  It will only give you a headache.

...Or do.  It won't change my reality (or yours).  Cheers!

Question #12: Superman!

If you recall, a few days ago I began writing series of posts under the headline 20 Questions (which is actually 36 questions, based on the New York Times article To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This).  Today's question was the last of "Set I," the basic ice-breaker/getting to know you questions.  It is a classic "What if?" just for the fun of it.  I figured that I would pose it here.

Question #12:  If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

My answer was going to be something relatively simple and yet pretty much a super-power, like "the ability to manipulate the space-time continuum," but as soon as my pen hit the paper, this started:

This is such a tough one!  There are so many possible and impossible things that I would love to do!  I would love to be able to:

- meditate on cue
- manipulate my position in the space-time continuum
- be completely well rested, body and mind, after only 1 hour of sleep per day
- not have to eat in order to survive (ie. my body works like a plant & makes whatever it needs)
...Oh & with this would come a super metabolism so that I would literally never feel cold
*** super healing - fixed broken bones, tight muscles, never get sick for long, eradicate auto-immune issues, etc.***
- the ability to swim in the ocean like an orca/undergo whatever metamorphosis I wish
- fly
- play guitar like a pro (without 30 years of practice)

I think I picked my top one; as much as the rest of these would totally rock, I would go with super healing powers.  I would want to be able to heal my own ailments, as well as the ailments of others.
Eeek!  I think I might need to change professions with an answer like that!

I would love to know what your quality or ability you would love to wake up with tomorrow!  Please share in the comments section below if you come up with something.

Message of the Day:  Spend some time every day getting to know yourself.  By identifying your deepest desires, you set them on the course to becoming a reality.

...Or don't.  It won't change my reality.  Cheers!

Question #4: The Perfect Day

Yesterday, I wrote a post called 20 Questions (which is actually 36 questions, based on the New York Times article To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This).  I didn't actually provide any of the answers to those questions I asked myself, though.  So, as promised, here is a peek at my game of 20 questions with myself:

Question #4: What would constitute a perfect day for you?

My Perfect Day:

- Wake up early to sunlight (no alarm)

- Meditate

- Do yoga/stretching

- Paint

- Cook & eat

- Hike to the top of a mountain/cliffside/wood

- Have good food with good people

- Take a boat ride at sunset

- Make/listen to good music with good people (on a beach/on the water somewhere)

- End the day swapping massages/ taking care of my body

- Fall asleep in someone's arms

Some people over-simplify things, some over-complicate them.  I over-think things.  That doesn't always mean over-complicating them, but I actually came up with two responses to My Perfect Day.

In reality, there are many versions of my perfect day.  They include:

- Waking up to the sunlight

- Yoga & meditation

- Good tea on a still, sunny, warm morning

- Painting (in natural sunlight)

- Water (swimming, scuba diving, boating, and/or gazing at a lake/river/ocean)

- Active/Sporty something (hiking, swimming, ice skating, snow boarding, yoga, frisbee, baseball, volleyball, etc.)

- Warmth (campfire, fireplace & hot cocoa/tea in autumn/winter, sunny beach/mountain somewhere in spring/summer)

- Good people (the funny, kind-hearted, loving, no drama type!)

- Trees (hiking, walking outdoors, hanging in a treehouse, climbing trees, etc.)

- Music - give me an acoustic guitar or play some Reggae or Funk or Techno and a group of dancing people & don't judge me for swaying however I please, and my day will be complete!

- Good food - healthy, feel-good, deliciousness

- Massage
- Tactile connection with another person - if I went the day without a hug, it would be incomplete

- Person who loves me holding me as we fall asleep

The night after I wrote this, I made my perfect day come true (minus the partner to sleep next to bit, but I'm 100% okay with that)!  I firmly believe that telling the Universe what you enjoy/what you want is the first step in making it become a reality, but more about that another day.

This is such a beautiful question, and I'm sure all of you have an answer.  What would constitute a perfect day for you?  I'd love to hear your responses in the comments section below.

Message of the Day: Spend some time getting to know yourself every day; you might be able to make your perfect day a reality!

...Or don't.  It won't change my reality.  Cheers!

20 Questions

For those of you who don't know, "20 Questions" is a "game" people play in which individuals ask one another a series of questions - anything they would like to know within reason.  They are usually thought-provolking, fun, intimate questions.  I have been playing a version of this myself, with myself!

If you've read this blog from The Beginning, or rather, Starting off on the Right Foot, you might already know that I created this blog, first and foremost, to make ME a little happier.  It is great to share that journey with you, my readers.  I had a rough 2014, and I am absolutely determined to make my 2015 amazing, so thank you for being there to witness and share in it!

Blogging is not the only thing I do to brighten my spirits (although I do love it).  Actually, a great many things, and a great many people, in this world make me happy.  Painting, making art, singing, playing music, meditating, cooking, getting outside to play, going to work, surrounding myself with good-hearted people, and writing in my own personal journal are at the top of that list (okay, 95% of the time, since I did include work in that list).

My mom is pretty much an amazing person.  She catches on to my moods (which can often feel frustrating since I don't always want to talk about everything with her).  I guess she caught on to that too, though, because the journal pictured above was one of her Christmas presents to me.  It has been at least 10 years since she last bought me a journal.  "It seemed like you needed it," she said.  Thanks, Mom.

I often write in my personal journal about relationships, romantic and otherwise.  I write about both relationships that make me excited and ones I need to talk something out about.  The pages of my diary are also full of self-exploration (much of which is too personal to write about in a public forum).  My game of 20 questions is something that contains many random, fun questions that do not fall into that category.  I say "20 questions" because that is a common game I know, but it is actually a 36 question activity based on the New York Times article To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This.  I believe that "falling in love" isn't something that one should force, but I like the premise behind this article, that if we are vulnerable with one another, we create intimacy.  I also have decided to play with myself, rather than with someone else, because it is important to first get to know and love yourself before you enter into an intimate relationship with someone else.

This activity actually reminds me of a card game I have played in which each card has a different question on it that you have to go around the room and answer.  If you ever need a fun, easy icebreaker or party game for all ages, this is a great one!  I played a couple of times this with my ex-boyfriend, his aunt, and his grandmother.  Try asking a 90-something year old who in all of history he or she would like to have dinner with; I bet you won't be disappointed with the answer!

I have been trying to play every day.  I write answers to one question per day, spending some much needed time getting to know myself.  I will keep you in suspense for today because the sun is shining and the day is calling, but stay tuned.

Message of the Day: Spend some time getting to know yourself every day.

...Or don't.  It won't change my reality.  Cheers!