Question #13: If I Had a Crystal Ball...

Some of the questions in the series of posts under the headline 20 Questions (which is actually 36 questions, based on the New York Times article To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This), are time-old questions most people have been asked at least once in their life.  For those of you who don't know, I'm doing this "20 Questions" activity with myself just for the fun of it, to get to know myself a little better.  Today's question was the first of "Set II" (out of III).

Question # 13: If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, your future, or anything else, what would you want to know?

Before you read my answer, think about the question for a second (or don't, but I think it would be fun).  How would you answer?  What would you want to know if you looked into a crystal ball?  Is there an unanswered question in your life that you just can't seem to answer?  What are you curious about?

Are you ready to hear my answer?

I don't want to know.

Unless the crystal ball could tell me the lottery numbers I choose on a specific date to win the jackpot, I don't want to know a single thing about my future, my past, or my current situation that I don't already know.  Here is why: curiosity.  Assuming this crystal ball is limited to my personal life and my personal capacity to comprehend what it tells me, and I can't solve the energy crisis or cure cancer by gazing into it, I don't want to have extra knowledge about my life unless it is in the form of a means to get "there."  I would rather maintain my innocent, curious mind.  If I already "know" what is going to happen, who says that it will still happen?  Or that I will take the same path to get there (presumably marvelously complex, maybe full of bumps that strengthen me as a person)?  I might eventually feel as though I took the easy road, and thereby alter my own personality and ownership of my accomplishments.

Many people would want to know how they die, or when.  One of my favorite songs is actually a song by Thriving Ivory called "Angels on the Moon," and the chorus begins with the lyrics "Don't tell me if I'm dying."  Here, take a listen:

Basically, you should live in the moment regardless of what life holds outside of the here and now.  Don't dwell on who walks in and out of your life, or when your own life will end.  If it is inevitable, why create stress trying to live forever if all you're doing is trying to survive?  My time is much more useful actually lived.  Plus, if you believe that the future is finite, which I will suppose we do for the purpose of this scenario, the knowledge of how I die allows me to recognize when it is happening.  However, if I'm focused on my own survival in the moment of my supposed death, I might change that situation.  The curiosity about "how it happens" is gone, which can have a whole host of emotional effects on a person, ranging from suicidal to invincible (neither of which is good in my book).  You may not accept the way your death "will happen," so you make sure that it happens prior to your supposed time to take back control.  Conversely, it can turn a cautious person into a risk taker if they know that their time won't expire for a very long time, giving them drive to accomplish their goals, or making them reckless.  Every person is different and there is no way to predict how someone (probably even yourself) would act with that kind of knowledge.

Furthermore, I have also now just created a paradox in which I may not die that way because I have seen it and therefore have insight I wouldn't otherwise have.  Maybe I die saving someone else's life.  Would I have the courage to be brave despite the knowledge that doing so would mean my own demise, or would I hesitate just long enough to save my own life, maybe causing another and "changing things?"  I believe that the future is more of a web of infinite possibilities and just because I am more likely to choose the path of putting my life on the line for another means I probably die doing ____, doesn't mean that it will happen if I factor in my own death.

If you knew who you will marry, where you retire, when your child is born, how well you do in your career, etc. before the timing is right, would it really matter?  Would it change how you do things now in a good way?  Would it ruin the journey?

The answer is always complex and will never capture all the variables.  You could never account for all the accidents or chances in life, and you might drive yourself mad trying to figure it out.  Your journey is what you make of it, and the reality is that all that currently exists in life is this moment.  Plans change, situations are born and they expire.  We make the best personal choices we can in every moment.  As long as we know ourselves enough to guide our lives by the direction of our own moral compass, life will turn out all right.

Message of the Day:  Don't play the "what if" game with the big things in life.  It will only give you a headache.

...Or do.  It won't change my reality (or yours).  Cheers!